Thursday, March 19, 2009
Good news...we were able to sort out exactly what is going on with the IVM yesterday, and we found out we will be doing our first round of IVM next cycle. We will know more details after next weeks one on one IVM orientation - hopefully it will be a little less basic then the last orientation.
We finally have something to get excited about.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Friday afternoon I went for my follicle count...the trans-vaginal ultra sound (which I have had a few times before) was a bitch...since it was done on Cycle day 3...I was having a really heavy flow and that damn wand was not helping...but I survived. The technician wouldn't tell me anything...but I'm hoping for anything over 20...which is optimal for the IVM treatment. Maybe I can get someone to tell me tomorrow.
We go to IVF Canada tomorrow for our IUI orientation, I'm planning on booking my IVM orientation then and hopefully I'll be able to speak to someone in person about IVM treatments and the information package they gave us. I'm still really excited about the "big" possibility that we will get to do the IVM very soon...especially since we are 1 of the 20 couples in the pilot program. Although, I am so used to going month after month and NOT getting pregnant...that when it happens I wont believe that its true!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Anyways...he was taking with the director of the clinic this morning and she brought up 'our' case...he told her that he had recommended 3xIUI and then we would decide if we move onto IVF. She totally disagreed with him and wants us to move onto IVM, which I'm a perfect candidate for! Our doctor talked to me on the phone and then went and got the director and had her talk to us. She explained that DH's sperm...in addition to the low count had a low morphology...specifically there were a large number with deformed heads. She explained that the bad morphology would decrease our chances of conception with IUI due to issues with the sperm not being able to penetrate the eggs. She believes we would be wasting our time by solely doing the IUI's.
So...IVM is our next step! I didn't even know what it was (http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/522444_print), apparently PCOS patients are the perfect candidates for it because they already have many immature follicles...this is the first time I've been happy about something to do with my PSOvaries! They make me one of the 12% of people who can partake in this treatment for infertility...whoot for good infertility news! Basically it is like an IVF cycle without the horrible IVF drugs, they just aspirate the immature follicles and mature them outside of the body...then use ICSI...inject a single spermie into each matured egg and create embryos...very simplified explanation! And each round only costs $3000.00, which is a great deal cheaper then the $10,000.00 IVF treatments. IVF Canada is the only fertility clinic in Ontario doing this procedure right now, and they are still in trial runs. However, they have been having great success with it - the director said they were getting 46% pregnancy rate/cycle...which is great news! Downside is - since they are only in the early stages of practicing this procedure they are only doing it in rounds every three months. So, hopefully we get in for the next round...but we will still be trying with IUI in between IVM cycles.
I go tomorrow morning for a follicle scan and blood work...ideally I need more then 20 immature follicles...so here's to hoping for lots of little follies...come on PCOS...I hope you've been in over-drive! I am so excited...this is great news for me...I'm am so grateful that our case caught the clinic directors eye...because if I had of found this information out after 3 failed cycles...I may not have been as happy about this great news!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Anyways, we confirmed that I did ovulate again with a progesterone level of 98, so most likely at least two eggs again. The SFA came back...with little to no change. There were so many numbers and variables I didn't even bother writing them down, especially since it wont make a bit of difference if I know the exact numbers. Our doctor said we would be moving onto the IUI, however, due to another screw up on his part...we will once again miss my next cycle.
They wont do the IUI until my HIV /other blood tests come back, which takes three to four weeks. When I asked him why he didn't do the tests 6 months ago when we started seeing him, he said he just assumed I had already had the tests! F-him! He even told my husband a month ago that I was going to need the tests, but when I called and asked him about it he had no idea what I was talking about and said we would talk about any further testing at the next appointment! Anywhoo...during our appointment today all of my frustration must have started to show...because my asshole doctor said in a very condescending tone...you need to relax (one of the things you don't tell an infertile)...it wasn't a caring tone it was condescending and nasty. He said I needed to stop being upset about this stuff and get on with it...after he said this...I let a tear slide...and my doctor jumped on me and basically said I was being rediculous for being upset. I tried to defend myself by asking him why he thought I didn't have the right to be upset...and he said something about this is nothing to do with rights that I was just over reacting. OK...what really pisses me off is...I wasn't even crying...no hysterics...no sobbing...not even a snotting nose...just a few stray tears of emotion...and I was totally attacked. Apparently I was/am supposed to be a ROBOT and not have any emotion. Even longer story short...he threatened me with psychiatric evaluation...he was pretty much threatening to stop treatment...all because I let a few tears of frustration and emotion go. I HATE him...errr....so I basically sucked it up and did the whole "Yes..sure...whatever...yep...I'm over reacting...oh..yes...is that what you wanted to here"...stick.
We go for the IUI orientation next Wednesday at 1pm, and then we wait for my blood work to come back. After that we just wait for my next cycle... pay them $650.00 and see what happens. Can't say I'm excited...just annoyed that we wont know if the IUI might even work until at least May 8th...errr....I don't even want to think about it.
Other unusual fertility news...I'm 16 dpo...no AF...and no AF cramps and BFN this AM...weird. If I don't get AF before Thursday...I'm going for a blood test. But now that I've written it down...I'm sure I'll get AF in the night.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Well I am now blogging from home...on Mondays...and well...everyday of the week...for now! Friday afternoon, at 4:00pm, I was laid off. Not really surprising, the terrible economy has put our company in shambles and for the last month and a half they have been letting go of two to three people every Friday afternoon. We have had ZERO sales since the new year...and there has been nothing really for anyone to do for months. My last work friend was also let go on Friday, so if they had of kept me on...it would have been unbearable in that office without my last comrade.
Anyways...the short story is...I hated where I worked...so it is a blessing in disguise. My husband is really happy I'm not working there anymore, mostly because I complained about it day and night for over a year. However, starting a new job somewhere is going to be difficult right now if I'm going to need time off for fertility appointments. Our plan is to see what happens tomorrow at the decision appointment...and then decide if I will go back to work right away or not. My husband thinks I should stay home for awhile, I'm conflicted because there are always so many projects I want to get done and if we go to IVF the extra cash will defiantly be needed. I should have a better feeling about it tomorrow after our appointment.
Fertility wise - I'm 15dpo, no AF yet, but AF-like cramps. Tested yesterday and got BFN, decided not to test today...if I don't get AF by tomorrow morning I'll test again. But I'm doubtful!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I'm back to my count downs:
- 1 more day till the weekend
- 3 more days until I should now for sure if this cycle's end result will be either a BFN or BFP, also know as AF
- 5 more days until our next fertility appointment
I was going to say 8 more days till my next round of clomid (if BFN)...but our fertility appointment might change that...so the furthest I can plan for now is until Tuesday...hmmm! This is annoying for me...I like to be in control and know whats happening.
On a happy note...another blog that I follow http://babydanser.blogspot.com/ just announced the best news yesterday...she is having twins! Such happy news...and it gives me hope! I used to be terrified about having twins...and being on the clomid only worried me more since it increases your chance for twins. But lately I've been thinking that twins might not be that bad...two at once...might take the pressure off of "needing" to have another. I don't know...I guess all I'm saying is I wouldn't be 'as' worried now if I found out I was having twins.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Even if this cycle is another bust...our next fertility appointment is in 6 days. We will be able to start with either the IVF or move onto the IUI. At this point I'm really hoping we just move on to IVF, I just want some progress and to have some success. If his count is still low...I have little faith in the IUI. We have been seeing our fertility specialist for 7 months now and I still feel like we are exactly where we were 6 months ago after one month with our specialist. I was diagnosed within a month and we found out there was a low sperm count in December...two full months have passed and NO progress has been made...its just so frustrating!
And I hate our doctor - this is something I haven't really mentioned on here. There is just too many things to list why I don't like him! But the short of it all is...if I had to choose again I would choose some one who showed some concern and more compassion for their patients. I would switch now...but I just don't want to waste anymore time. As I said...too many negatives surrounding my feelings towards our doctor...I don't even want to get into this this morning...maybe I'll vent on a day when I really need to complain!
Anyways...guess I'll test and post tomorrow!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Yesterday was an unusual day. We went with our pregnant friends to another couple's place (they already have an 18 month old). I was really dreading going, I didn't want to feel like the big elephant in the room - the one infertile that still doesn't have a baby or even a pregnancy. Turns out it wasn't 'as' bad as I thought it might be.
Our friends who already have a son are going through a really hard financial and medical time. She was just laid off and he is been having some very serious 'unexplained' medical issues. Their situation brought me back to reality a little more, it made me realize that our infertility situation is not the end of the world and that things could be much worse.
I deal with my other pregnant friends numerous days a week, dealing with her wasn't an issue. However, as the evening went on my two friends went through piles of baby gear. It was difficult to see all the cute little outfits, knowing that it might take years for me to have a baby to put in those outfits, while my preggo friend will have her bundle of joy in only a few short months.
All in all, the evening went much better then I expected. Blood work tomorrow, and only 6 more days still testing...or the arrival of AF.