I thought the 2ww was going to be torture, especially knowing that there were two (at least three day) embryos in the ute this time. But surprisingly it hasn't been as bad as I anticipated it might be. Time as been moving along...I've been keeping myself busy...party planning, shopping and gardening (but a more laid back kind of gardening since I was advised to 'take it easy'.)
Today is 10dp3dt, my clinic doesn't run a first beta until 15days. So I still have 5 more to go and I am refusing to POAS! The clinic advised against it...but there is a very specific reason why I have been avoiding POAS. I am hosting a baby shower for my 'way too fertile' friend this Saturday. I don't want to have my own baby hopes crushed...and then have to host a baby shower! Everyone expected me to throw the shower, since I am the party planner...and when I agreed to it back in November...I had NO idea our fertility problems were going to be so complex...we still thought our only issue was the PCOS...and were told that clomid/timed intercourse should result in a baby.
Oh well...I've totally enjoyed planning the party...and its kept my mind off of the 2ww! And seriously who would have ever thought that the party would end up falling only a mere few days before my first IVF beta...heck...I sure didn't...I thought I would for sure be pregnant by now!
So the only real update I have is... I am refusing to POAS...which is sorta killing me! (I think I am close to kicking the habit though...I did it so much over the last 18 months...I think there are only so many negative results one can read before they can't take it any more!) I am still having various symptoms though...but its hard to tell if they are drug induced or pregnancy induced. My boobs are killing me...trying to sleep has been hard because my boobs hurt so much, its like an achy/ tingly hurt that is present all the time...not just to touch. And I have been having cramps for at least 3 days, they feel like AF cramps...but no sign of AF or even any spotting. I have a few theories about the cramps...I have read many blogs where women have totally thought their IVF cycle was a bust because they were sure AF was coming but but never shows and they end up pregnant. So...I am taking the cramps as a good sign for two main reasons: 1.) Af hasn't started 2.) I have really long cycles...and it would be out of character to have AF cramps this early.
I'm not saying I think I am pregnant because at this point I still feels like its fifty-fifty! I haven't given up hope...but I am still being cautiously optimistic. I think of it like this...say I have a 30% chance of success this first round of IVM...if the weather report says sunny with clouds and a 30% chance of precipitation...everyone assumes...its not going to rain for sure...because its only a 30% chance. So...I can't get too excited...I feel like the odds are still against me in some way...because I know for sure I wouldn't bring my umbrella for only a 30% chance of rain...so I'm definitely not going to go out and start buying baby gear!
Whatever the outcome of this cycle...I'll survive...and I'll try again...and again...until I get the prize. For now I have 5 more days to go until I know for sure...my plan is to go in first thing Monday morning...have my blood drawn. Come home...and then POAS...that way if I do get a BFP-it will be confirmed later that day with the beta results. And if its a BFN...I can lessen the blow...get out my frustration before the clinic calls with unpleasant news.
Baby Gemma
9 years ago
I think you're going about this the right way. It would be awful to get a negative right before the shower!
ReplyDeleteThat's an interesting plan you have to draw the beta then go POAS. I think it's a good one and I hope you get some good news early with it.