Home from egg retrieval

I'm back...crampy and unsure of how I feel. Everything went well with the retrieval...I let a few tears slide on the OR table but the last thing I remember is the anesthesiologist saying something about the courage of a lion and wiping my escaped tears away...next thing I knew I was waking up in another bed in recovery.

I was surprised to hear what the embryologist had to tell us before we left - which is also why I don't feel ecstatic about this mornings retrieval. Two days ago they counted at lest 14 follies measuring around 14mm - I was under the impression that at least 14 could have been retrieved and possibly more smaller ones since this is an IVM cycle not IVF. There was also the possibility of retrieving already mature eggs - but they were mainly expecting immature eggs since we are doing IVM.

What was actually retrieved today were 9 eggs all immature. Now its not that I am unhappy with this because 9 eggs are still better then no eggs...its just I was expecting more and there was no explanation as to why we only ended up with 9. Maybe its just the way things are.

What is most annoying to me is my husbands reaction - he thinks I should be perfectly happy with 9 eggs and he doesn't see why it upsets me. First off this is IVM not IVF, which means my eggs have 24 hours to mature and usually only 70-80% mature. So lets say 7 make it to fertilization, we are using ICSI, so all 'should' fertilize. Then the remaining embryos need to continue to divide for 2 additional days before transfer. Hopefully all (say) 7 make it and two embryos are transferred. Which means we would have 5 left to freeze, but they need 2 additional days to make it to the blastocyct freeze stage and it is very unlikely that all of the remaining embryos will survive until the freeze stage. So I'm 'guessing' our best case scenario ends up leaving us with 1 or 2 embryos to freeze, which also means that if they don't take the first time I will probably end up having to go through this all over again.

I guess I was just hoping for a higher amount of eggs retrieved, so that if it doesn't work the first time there would be a greater chance of having more frozen embryos so I could avoid the whole retrieval process again. Errrr...I really just think its my husbands attitude that makes me the most upset/annoyed...its fine for him to think of ONLY the positive...all he'll have to do is jerk off into cup if we end up needing to go through this again.

I'm trying to stay positive - this cycle is what it is! I can't change what has already happened and I don't really have any control over what will or might happen. I plan on just taking it day by day the next couple of weeks. I wont have anymore news until Saturday, so until then I'll just be waiting.