Where we are...

I haven't posted anything in ages...reason being...I have had nothing positive to write and it was becoming too depressing! I was supposed to start the IVM in April...but my cycle never started. We still don't know if it was stress or if I just didn't ovulate on the 50mg of clomid. I waited 10 days to see if AF would start on its own and when it didn't I called my doctor to see what our next steps would be. I was fully expecting him to say that this cycle is canceled and we would have to wait until I am regular again and until the next clinic rounds of IVM (which don't happen until Sept).

To my surprise he had me start 10 days of prometrium to induce a bleed...if AF started before the prometrium was completed they would be able to do the IVM this cycle and if I needed to take the full 10 days of the prometrium...they would have to wait until the next round of IVM...something to do with not being able to do the treatment after a withdrawl bleed.

Once again...I fully expected to have my body let me down...but only 6 days into the prometrium...AF started. I called in my cycle day 1 to our clinic and booked our cd3 ultrasound and blood work. I went yesterday for the cd3 ultrasound...they were going to be counting my follicles and making sure I had enough to begin the IVM treatment. This was going to be the decision day...the yes or no...I was so stressed about it.

During the ultrasound both the doctor and the IVM director were in the room with me. The doctor was counting the number of follies...and the director says..."oh wait...is that a cyst!" I was instantly in a panic...because I knew a cyst would mean a cancelled cycle for sure...but again to my surprise... the doctor said..."nope it doesn't look like a cyst to me". The director said at least three times "are you sure...I think its a cyst."...and more than three times the doctors reply was "its fine...it is not a cyst"! Right after the ultrasound was finished I was told everything looked good and we would be going thru with the IVM this cycle...however...the director added..."but we will be keeping a close look on that bigger follicle"...so all though it was good news...we still have to be cautiously optimistic...because just like any IVF cycle...they could pull the plug at any point during the cycle...if things aren't progressing as they should.

But we paid our fees yesterday...so we are now over $6000.00 poorer...which kindda makes this whole process seem more real! We go back on Friday for our cd6 ultrasound/blood and as long as everything still looks good...I will start my injections cd6 thru to cd8 or 9. Beginning cd6 I will also have daily blood drawn to monitor my levels and to determine when they will do the retrieval.

So...the possible treatment out line should look something like this...give or take a few days after the injections and before the retrieval:

• CD1 call in and book ultrasound (Sunday May 10)
• CD3 ultrasound/blood (Tuesday May 12)
• CD6 ultrasound/blood and start injections (Friday May 15)
• CD7 Injections/blood (Saturday May 16)
  
• CD8 same (Sunday May 17)
  
• CD9 determine from blood/ultrasound if I need one more day of injections (Mon May 18)
  
• Between CD10-13 HCG injection and egg retrieval (Tues May 19 - Thurs May 21)
  
• Egg retrieval day - eggs are matured for 24 hours (Thurs May 21)
  
• 1 day post retrieval - eggs are fertilized with ICSI (Fri May 22)
  
• 4th day post retrieval - embryo transfer (Mon May 25)
  
• 2WW (Over June 8th)
  

Ahhh...I can't tell if I'm excited or terrified! I don't want another let down...but I am excited...I just don't want to get too excited...just in case!

I can't beleive this....

We came so close...but again my body has to screw things up! We were supposed to have our IVM this cycle...every thing was all set and ready to go...all I needed to do was call on cycle day 1 and every thing would have been a go! But cycle day 1 never arrived! I was expecting AF to show up around April 15th...which makes me about 5 days late! I've had slight cramping for the last few days...but nothing...not even spotting. I've tried jogging around...excersising...vigirous sex...everything that usually starts my period early...but no luck!

There was still the slight chance I could have conceived this month...but I tested this morning and it was a big old negative! I'm already 19-20 dpo...so if I was going to get a positive result...it most likely would have showed up by now! The more likely reason this has happened is I didn't actually ovulate this cycle...I ovulated twice on the 50mg of clomid...both times I had progesterone levels between 90-105...so there shouldn't have been any reason not to ovulate!

This complicates everything! I was laid off last month and we decided I wouldn't apply for new jobs since I was having the IVM this cycle...but I may have wasted over a month of NOT looking for work / working...since the next steps are going to take months! The clinic only does the IVM treatment in rounds every 2 to 3 months...so we have to wait until they are doing a round of treatment...if AF doesn't show by like tomorrow...(fat chance of that)...theoretically - they would put me on 2 months of birth control to regulate me. But...if they aren't doing IVM the month I am done the birth control...I will have to wait until the next round...so that could be as long as 4 months from now!

I tried calling the clinic today...but for some strange reason...no one was picking up! I will need to talk to the doctor to sort out what we are going to be doing next...but I seriously can't believe this is happening now! This is also taking a toll on DH and my relationship...we just weren't expecting this and don't know how to react...there is too much uncertainty and we need to sort out our infertility treatments and personal life.

Bahhh...I am so mad right now I don't even now how to react...I have kept going on a big self prescribed dose of denial for the last 5 days...unfortunately reality is going to have to sink in sooner rather then later!

Catch up...

We went for our IVM orientation last Friday. It was informative and very positive - yet still seemed a little unorganized. They couldn't find our chart...this has happened once before...but luckly they were able to call down stairs to the lab and get a copy of our blood work and follicle scan (they also assured me they would locate my chart... :p)! After the orientation the clinic director instructed me that I should call in at the beginning of my May cycle to begin the IVM process...I was a little shocked sinceI was sure we were told we would be starting in April...and I know my chart (which they couldn't locate) definitely said 'to start IVM cycle day 1 in April'. The clinic director didn't even bother fighting me on that detail and just agreed that we would/could start my next cycle - whoot!

For IVM you need to have a cd3 follicle count of at least 20 follies (which most true PCO patients all have)...I had 40+ follies which is more than ideal for the procedure. So on cd 1...which will hopefully arrive around April 14th...I call and book my cd 3 blood work and ultrasound. Due to my lack of ovulation without clomid I still get worried even after a clomid cycle that I may not have ovulated, which would totally mess things up. Anyways... cd 6 another ultrasound/blood work and I will start the low dose gonadotropins to stimulate my ovaries for three days. Cd 8 - third ultrasound/blood to monitor growth of follicles and from this point on I will have daily blood/ultrasounds until I am ready for egg retrieval (usually between cd 10-14). On the day of the egg retrieval...DH will give a sample in case we have already matured eggs to be fertilized...since we are doing invitro maturation, when my eggs are retrieved most of them will not be ready for fertilization for 24h...once retrieved they will be put into a maturation liquid to continue to mature. Since I had 40+ follicles they think they will probably be able to retrieve between 20-35 eggs...maybe 20-25 will mature ( not all retrieved eggs will mature)...and since we are using ICSI...all eggs that mature will be fertilized. 4 days after the egg retrieval...I go in for the embryo transfer...and then its the 2ww. It all seems soooo crazy but exciting.

We will have remaining embryos...we plan on culturing them for 2 more days ... until they are blastocysts...and then freezing them for future attempts. There is just so much to research I still want to do...especially concerning the freezing of embryos.

Well that is everything I have to update...I'm just waiting for cd 1 and then I will have some serious news to report next cycle.