I can't beleive this....

We came so close...but again my body has to screw things up! We were supposed to have our IVM this cycle...every thing was all set and ready to go...all I needed to do was call on cycle day 1 and every thing would have been a go! But cycle day 1 never arrived! I was expecting AF to show up around April 15th...which makes me about 5 days late! I've had slight cramping for the last few days...but nothing...not even spotting. I've tried jogging around...excersising...vigirous sex...everything that usually starts my period early...but no luck!

There was still the slight chance I could have conceived this month...but I tested this morning and it was a big old negative! I'm already 19-20 dpo...so if I was going to get a positive result...it most likely would have showed up by now! The more likely reason this has happened is I didn't actually ovulate this cycle...I ovulated twice on the 50mg of clomid...both times I had progesterone levels between 90-105...so there shouldn't have been any reason not to ovulate!

This complicates everything! I was laid off last month and we decided I wouldn't apply for new jobs since I was having the IVM this cycle...but I may have wasted over a month of NOT looking for work / working...since the next steps are going to take months! The clinic only does the IVM treatment in rounds every 2 to 3 months...so we have to wait until they are doing a round of treatment...if AF doesn't show by like tomorrow...(fat chance of that)...theoretically - they would put me on 2 months of birth control to regulate me. But...if they aren't doing IVM the month I am done the birth control...I will have to wait until the next round...so that could be as long as 4 months from now!

I tried calling the clinic today...but for some strange reason...no one was picking up! I will need to talk to the doctor to sort out what we are going to be doing next...but I seriously can't believe this is happening now! This is also taking a toll on DH and my relationship...we just weren't expecting this and don't know how to react...there is too much uncertainty and we need to sort out our infertility treatments and personal life.

Bahhh...I am so mad right now I don't even now how to react...I have kept going on a big self prescribed dose of denial for the last 5 days...unfortunately reality is going to have to sink in sooner rather then later!